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I'm Fred. I arrived on the scene in 2002 in a paper bag. I was given as a birthday present. I live with "Him" and "Her". I spend a lot of time on my shelf above their bed thinking. We also spend quite a lot of our time on our Narrowboat "Jophina II" . My blog is about my thoughts and experiences.

Thursday, 22 December 2011


He came across an interesting word this week…..PARAPROSDOKIAN.

Now how many of you know what one of those is? Well He and I do now and somehow we’ve got to find a way to weave it into a conversation - perhaps over Christmas. 

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a phrase or sentence is surprising or unexpected such that it causes the reader or listener to re-interpret the first part. 

Paraprosdokians are often used by stand-up comedians when telling jokes or can be used by writers for dramatic effect. While researching using the internet thingy He found some great examples which I am reproducing below. We don’t know who originally wrote them but amusing they certainly are;

·         I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

·         Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

·         The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

·         Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

·         If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

·         War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

·         To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

·         Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

·         Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

·         I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.

·         Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

·         You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

·         The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

·         Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

·         Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

·         To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

·         A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

·         Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Thinking about comedy have you noticed how, in recent years there has been a real surge in the number of stand-up comics on the TV. Some years ago He tells me that it was quite popular with people such as Tommy Cooper, Les Dawson and Dave Allen (although he mainly sat down to tell his funny stories). Then there were years when the stand-up comic hardly ever appeared on TV but today there are literally dozens of them not only on TV but also in theatres, at festivals and even doing arena tours where they appear in front of thousands. He and I think many of them are very good indeed although being a bit old fashioned He thinks that the use of swear words by some is overdone. Occasional use to give effect is OK but it often adds nothing to what is already a funny story. 

One of the best is Michael McIntyre in his view so much so that they are all going to see him at Sheffield Arena next year.

It’s important to laugh. Apart from anything else it’s good exercise and has been shown to relieve stress. Mind you when He laughs I always wonder whether a cardiac arrest is more likely!

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